Six Sure-Fire Signs That You Have A Facebook Stalker

Go on, admit it. We all do it.
What am I talking about? Facebook stalking, of course.
The social networking phenomenon has become the bane of productivity as we actively scour our friends and families’ profiles to check their latest photo snaps, status updates, where they’ve been tagged and who they’re in a relationship with.
However, while many of us enjoy this modern day pastime as a means of passing the time and plan to (perfectly harmlessly) keep quiet about our stalking tendencies, there are those who are much more noticeable (perhaps intentionally) in their online practices.

1. They “Like” everything you do
Receiving a thumbs up, or a “Like” as Facebook brands it, on your latest status update is always a gratifying experience. You feel like you’ve done something right. Your anecdote was status-worthy, your joke went down a treat or your view is affirmed by others. Although, if your statuses – both good and bad – are being “Liked” on a consistent basis by one individual then feel free to be disconcerted.

2. Incessant comments
Equally, receiving incessant comments on your latest photos and status updates can be another tick in the Facebook stalker checklist. Having said that, on the flip side, at least commenting requires some sort of mental capacity rather than just mind-numbingly “liking” everything you do.

3. Their profile picture includes you
A profile picture has one real purpose; to convey an image of an individual. So it’s always a slight concern when someone’s picture includes the aforementioned individual with their arm around you while grinning cheesily.
Worse still, a picture of themselves with your head Photoshopped in (Note: I’ve never actually seen this in practice but, theoretically speaking, it would be dreadful).

4. They’ll inbox you
Unless someone is passing on personal details, there is no reason for private messaging, is there? What have they got to hide? What are they ashamed of? It’s always important to question why someone may send you private messages when there’s no requirement for them to be “private”.

5. You have a poker
Who pokes? Seriously, who pokes? You must be a tad weird if you poke. If you’re a victim of pokes then rest assured (probably the wrong turn of phrase), you have someone with an unhealthy obsession for your online activities.

6. Forcing their interests upon you
Does your Facebook “friend” insist on continually sending you invites to their favourite groups or events? Yes, annoying isn’t it? When I get a notification I want it to be worthy of my time, thank you very much.

What if you have a Facebook stalker?
Well, be grateful dammit! You’re attracting someone’s attention – whether that attention is welcome or not is another matter – but having a Facebook stalker is a good ego boost I’d say.
That’s why I’d love to have one – any offers?

Matthew Wood is writing on behalf of Probe Investigations UK Limited. If you’re security or privacy concerns are a little more serious than this article then contacting Probe for their private investigation services could be worth your while.